GLOSSARY

Mistress Rose’s Glossary of D/s Terms

(This listing is a growing organism. I invite contributions and comments.) 

A

Abrasion: Using something rough (such as sandpaper).

Age play: Usually referring to Daddy/daughter or Mommy/baby role play.

Alternative Lifestyle: This term is used to refer to the way of life/play that a large number of dominant and submissive people practice all over the world. Due to the attractive advantages of this lifestyle, the number of self-identified practitioners is growing every day. I look forward to the day when D/s is referred to simply as a lifestyle. 

Anal torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus.

Animal Play: The sub acts or dresses like an animal (puppy, pony, cow, etc.).

Auctioned off: Dom/me auctions off the Slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).

B

BDSM: An acronym standing for: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. This term is a shorthand way (growing more anachronistic daily) of referring to persons/items/activities of Dominance and submission. I prefer the more updated, streamlined and inclusive term “D/s” (Dominance/submission or Dominant/submissive) which covers the same persons, items, and/or activities.

Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control.

Breath Control: The Dom controls the sub's breathing .

Butt plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate

C

Cane: An implement of punishment and correction usually made of bamboo or other flexible materials. Its simple appearance belies its power. The cane makes stripes and can cause the submissive to see stars. As strong as the impression canes make, without proper care, canes can be surprisingly brittle if allowed to dry out.

CBT: Cock and ball torture

Chastity Training: When a sub wears a locked device to prevent sexual access to private area.  This device, often referred to as a chastity belt, can only be opened with a key held by the dom.

Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned (usually in a loving intimate relationship)

Collaring: Ceremony when a Dom commits to a sub (much like a wedding)

Consensual: This is the active ingredient that gives the relationship between the Dominant and the submissive its unique power. The Dominant gives the submissive the gift of her control. The submissive gives the Dominant the gift of his submission. Both are acutely aware of this agreement and are bound by it.

Contract: A written-out agreement between the Dom/me & sub. It can be either formal or loving, and is usually written by the Dom/me outlining what is expected of the sub. It is NOT legally binding but should be taken seriously.

D

D/s: Domination/submission or Dominant/submissive. See “BDSM” entry.

DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to supervise the interactions between participants at a Play Party to ensure their safety.

Dominant: The person who calls the shots in the relationship with the submissive. (Also, dom, domme, and dominatrix)

Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space.

E

Edgeplay: SM play involving blood, permanent marking and risk to life

F

Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object

G

Golden showers: Piss play

H

Handkerchief codes: visible signs to indicate to others your area of BDSM interest

Hard limits: What someone will not do, usually can't be pushed

Harem: A group of subs serving one or more Dom/mes

I

Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing

J

K

L

Limits: What someone "won't" do or is hesitant to do

M

Masochism: Act of taking pain (enjoying it usually)

Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually

Munch: A group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a vanilla place. Sometimes this is a club. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Denny's"

N

O

OTK: Over the knee (spanking).

Old Guard: refers to high protocol groups, particularly gay leather BDSM groups.

P

Painslut: A person who enjoys pain but doesn't necessarily enjoy submitting.

Play Party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in Scenes.

ProDom: Male professional Dominant (charges money)

ProDomme: Female professional Dominant (charges money)

Ponygirl or Ponyboy: Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug for a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.

Puppy Play :Sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc.

Q

R

RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink

Rape fantasy

S

Sadism: The act of inflicting pain

Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually

Safe, Sane and Consensual - SSC

Safeword - When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops.

Scat play: Shit play

Scene: A time period of BDSM activities

Session: A time period of BDSM activities with a ProDom/me

Slave: Person who gives up control, usually completely and with very few limits. Slaves are usually masochists who mainly participate in extreme BDSM as a lifestyle (this isn't necessarily the rule; there are many exceptions and variations).

Slave Position: Also called The Pleasure Position. Sub is kneeling, legs spread, head down and hands on thighs, with palms up

Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity.

submissive, or "sub" / "subbie" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene. The person who obeys the Dominant.

Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub gets during a scene or when being controlled.

switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive. either in one scene or on different occasions

T

Top: Dominant person either all the time or only during a scene

Training: Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the Dom/me teaching the sub how to act. Can either be a playful thing or a serious thing, depending on the couple.

U

V

Vanilla: Someone who isn't in the lifestyle. Alternatively, sexual behavior which doesn't encompass BDSM activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.

W

Wax play: The Dom/me drips hot wax on the sub.

Y

Z